Happy New Year! Will You Allow It to Be?

We will hear and say 'Happy New Year' so often at this time of year - but rarely do we think about what it really means to us, and the people to whom we say it.

We are all unique individuals with our own unique needs and desires; and most of us are united in our quest for the same thing - to feel happy. We are all striving for this state of 'happiness'; and yet many people are looking in the wrong place for it - and settling for a temporary mood-enhancer in the form of alcohol, drugs, a new relationship, or new possessions.

Magazines are now full of 'New Year New You' advice from so-called experts - most of which is just plain common sense! No one else is the expert on you! Only you know - or are trying to pin-down - what brings you personal happiness. One person's happiness is another person's burden.

If you now think about what actually brings people happiness it might range from finding shelter and food; to having a make-over/fake-tan/fake-nails etc., buying new 'toys/gadgets', right through to showing love, care and compassion to others. As broad a spectrum as is seen in general society.

Happiness for you will depend upon your own level of personal and spiritual awareness, and your ability to create happiness as a state of mind which you can return to at will - despite life's relentless disappointments and challenges.

It is not enough to simply 'think' or 'imagine' yourself as being happy - you can't fool yourself that easily!

What most of us don't realise is that we have two mind-sets about everything in our life, and these two minds can be at odds with one another. This conflict can include the levels of happiness we are 'allowed' to experience.

Our conscious/rational/observing mind can desire and seek greater happiness; but if our sub-conscious mind doesn't believe that we deserve it, or that we would benefit from it - then it just isn't going to come our way. Our outer lives are only ever a reflection of our inner and deeper sub-conscious belief system. Self-help books and talking therapies do not access or change these deeper 'Script' beliefs.

Being around happy, optimistic, warm and friendly people positively affects us too - as does the opposite. This is known as 'Emotional Contagion' - and it is worth reflecting upon what 'mood' or 'energy' we ourselves give out that in turn affects those around us.

We have neurons in our brains called Mirror Neurons which can create in us the emotion that we are witnessing outside of us. For instance if we see someone stub their toe or trap their finger, we are instinctively programmed to feel something similar. This connection goes beyond mere 'empathy', or of recalling personal memories of similar things having happened to us in the past. We are significantly affected by being around happy events and happy people, whose emotions we then 'mirror' in ourselves.

Don't however be fooled by a 'happy mask' that someone may be wearing; which will be a false-self they present to the world as an attempt to hide their real feelings and needs. This may well have been set up in childhood when it was encouraged and expected that they 'put-on-a-happy face' for the family's sake; and to stuff down their real feelings such as anger, resentment, disappointment, fear, sadness and despair - which was real, but 'unacceptable' by the family/care-giver.

Many people are so accustomed to wearing a mask that they cannot imagine a life without it, or how to take it off! Their eyes will usually give the game away as to their underlying feelings, as will an unguarded moment and comment, if another person is sensitive enough to notice these 'slips'.

We all have a 'base-line' level of happiness at any given stage in our lives - which is formed from our past experiences and the meaning we gave to them; and of course the effects these have had upon our sub-conscious mind and the 'programme' we are running. Happy New Year SMS 2020

This base-line represents only 40% of the full amount of happiness we are capable of experiencing at the present time. A further 10% can come from the external 'lucky' events such as the lottery win; or a big new purchase; or from cosmetic surgery etc. These 'highs' are unfortunately only temporary and we soon return to our base level once again.

The very good news though is that the remaining 40% of happiness available to you - is derived from YOU! This is scientifically validated and forms a central aspect of Positive Psychology.

There are 12 ways of facilitating more happiness by your own actions and thoughts, and by the releasing your own blockages. Some of these ways include learning how to develop a more optimistic and focussed approach to life; to maintain your healthy mind and spirit, and allowing gratitude and forgiveness into your life. These sound simple but in fact are profound and life-changing. Improving your overall, and sustained, happiness positively effects every cell in your body and consequently your genetic expression (Epi-genetics); and therefore your lifespan.

Deeper and sustained Happiness equates to a calmness of the mind... observing what is, and not forcing change... reflecting, surrendering and allowing; instead of worrying, over-thinking and mind-chatter. To see the pleasure in every tiny moment instead of only focussing ahead of the present time; or dwelling in the unchangeable past. The only time you really have is this moment and the next breath. Make the most of these whilst you still have them.

So maybe instead of the customary and thoughtless 'Happy New Year' to one and all - it would be more relevant to say 'May You Find and Sustain Your Own Happiness'... ah but that's too much of a mouthful... it'll probably never catch on!:-)